PapaMan decided to join the blogging world (like 10 years too late) but I’ll still add him to the blogroll. Maybe I’ll even post kinda regular-like.

Maybe, but right now I got to really get used to this new environment. Looks like some things you can’t run away from.

The premise is simple enough – a highschool basketball coach-cum-teacher loses his house in a freak fire, loses his kids to his ex-wife and realises he needs to make extra money to survive. He joins a moneymaking seminar and realises he has absolutely no marketable skills whatsoever – except his penis.

You see, his wife tells him the only reason she stayed married with him was because he was hung.

So he goes online, snaps a few photos of the merchandise and joins the sordid world of the manwhore.

Thomas Jane does an intriguing job as Ray Drecker – the titular “hero”. Along with a healthy dose of self pity, we see the crumbling vestiges of Detroit, and the struggles of a man who just needs money to buy a Godhead concert ticket for his son.

Ah, dark humor. I love thee.

I was worried it’d be back to some Shamsul Yusof-driven Impak Maksima clone, or worse, one of those interminable Malay telenovelas with the same actors reprising precisely the same roles with varying levels of makeup thickness.

A couple Sundays ago it was revealed that Khabir Bhatia had finished his foray into the horror genre, with a series of tales set in an apartment block called Tower 13. Early trailers showed buckets of sirap (why they can’t actually make proper fake blood is beyond me) splashing down doors and out of faucets, suitably creepy female entities skulking around the insides of bathrooms and of course the ubiquitious number 13 painted in red on a yellow bulb.

Stylish, eh?

So we sat down to catch the first episode last night, and if it’s any indication – Kabir Bhatia has added me to his list of fans. The show opens with a man stabbing himself in the eye with a knife, and eventually his body is found in his blood spattered apartment. The investigating officer (who doesn’t do much beyond glare and act all Horatio Caine-ey) reveals to the viewer that the deceased was a former medium for a reality TV show (aha!).

So the blood spattered trail leads to the building manager (who surprisingly works till night) and so he sits down the incredulous detective and tells him of the many, many deaths in Tower 13, which segues into each week’s episode I guess.

A show like this would be incomplete without skulking creepy characters, so we get one in the form of a blind girl who keeps on popping out of nowhere and talking cryptically to our building manager. For comic relief (and obvious Islamic values) we have an ustaz who tries to unlock a door with a recitation after successfully banishing some sort of blood demon manifestation.

All in all, not bad for 45 minutes.

I’ll be keeping an eye on this, and I recommend you do too.

As we all reel from the loss of Yasmin Ahmad – the question  now remains:

who’ll take over making all those ads we grew to love?

Obefiend has his projections, and if they come true, I will have died a little while puking into my own mouth.

Yes, it will be that bad.

Head on over to his blog, read up Thursday’s post.

GHAZNI, Afghanistan (Reuters) – The Taliban have warned Afghans that possessing pictures of “unrelated women and handsome boys” was against Islamic law and owning “shiny new phones” runs contrary to their religious dignity.

The Taliban have been posting “night letters” in the volatile southeastern province of Ghazni, reminding Afghans of their religious obligations and reiterating warnings that they will attempt to disrupt crucial presidential elections on Aug. 20.

In a restatement of the Taliban’s austere interpretation of Islam, one letter warned people, especially the young, against using hi-tech gadgets such as cell phones with photography and video functions.

Clicky here for the link.

Secondly, I’ve come to the realisation that for many men of my race, being married carries the unfortunate side effect of emasculation. Literally. Why else would they insist on going trawling for fish in Terengganu, climbing mountains and generally hanging out with each other to show how unafraid of their wives they are?

I’ve been invited to a few of these gatherings and activities – sometimes just for a drink after work. Sometimes, I do – and I just let the wife know I’ll be a bit late so she can pick up Imran from the nursery. Most times, I decline – and will quickly be met by “whipping” hand gestures and shouts of “oh, you have to ask permission, is it?’.

Yesterday it was “The Quran says a wife should bow to her husband!”.

Seriously?

A wife should bow to a husband who leaves the family for a completely unnecessary activity, leaving behind a sick child at home? A husband who decides to have a drink with the boys will ALWAYS get to do so without consulting the wife? Is that what the Quran says?

Sheesh.

Maybe for these guys, they worry that their manhood has become suspect if they don’t appear to be subjugating their wives, enforcing the sheer force of their iron will and generally getting their way. Maybe it’s an unspoken rule that men should never appear to “consult” their wives for anything.

Or maybe it’s because I’m married to a beautiful, intelligent woman who I can’t wait to go home to.

Either way, it’s okay. I like my life right now – and I wouldn’t trade any mountain, teh tarik session or road trip for it.

When populating a shopping mall, if possible, after you’ve shortlisted all the donut shops, coffeeshops, pseudo-old0school kopitiams, “fashion” shops catering to what is normally referred to as “jinjang” types, even if you ARE in the Bukit Bintang area, please try and put in at least one camera shop that isn’t just a camera shop.

Please.

So I needed to take a quick passport photo (of which there can be multiple uses for). I figured I’d drop by the regular shop on the first floor, chat with the friendly staff who used to refill my Touch N Go card every 2 weeks – and take a photo.

I went downstairs, and lo and behold, the shop was gone, its facade replaced with a white painted woodfront which suggests a renovation (cool, but for a camera shop?) or a replacement shop (God not another ETUDE house, whatever that is).

So I did the only thing I could think of.

I ran.

Ok, so I didn’t exactly “run”. I walked quickly to Sungai Wang, past a restaurant called JAPIN, past another donut shop, 2 coffeeshops, one kopitiam, asked the helpdesk where the hell I could get a passport sized photo pronto-ish, and luckily got pointed to one right away.

As I arrived, slightly out of breath I asked the sullen-emo-goth type manning the counter how much for a passport photo with the soft copy included, and without raising an eyelash (or her face for that manner) she replied:

“LAPAN belas ringgit.”

I knew then I was doomed.

This confirms it.

KUALA LUMPUR: A British diplomat was allegedly assaulted by a group of men believed to be bodyguards of a ‘Datuk’ early this month over a parking lot dispute.

It is learnt that the diplomat, in his 50s, was confronted by eight men when he went to ask the condominium management about the unauthorised use of his parking lot.

He was allegedly warned by one of the men before being beaten up as security guards stood watch.

Yup. If they get REALLY angry, they’d put the Boston Tea Party to shame. Take that, you British imperialists!

Especially when you have no choice but to pass by Parlimen in the morning.

So tomorrow we’ll see two opposing camps gathering – or TRY to gather, as I predict our trusty men in blue will be ready with their water cannons and tear gas grenades, you know, just in case.

In a way, part of me hopes for something like Gangs Of New York – where at least all that pent up aggression will be released, along with some blood. Let em march, I say. If they meet in the middle and decide to clash, well, let it be.

Get the paramedics ready, let em work it out and then maybe whoever gets to hand that memo over to the King, er, wins.

Yeah, that should do it.

Anyway, on a completely different topic, isn’t it cool that Japan gets GIANT JELLYFISH?

I predict Godzilla’s probably coming.

Surprise surprise. Embiggened’s still there. Either they REALLY have space to spare or they just don’t care.

Either way, a series of unfortunate events have pushed a highly complex chain of events into action – resulting into me updating this blog again. For how long, it’s anyone’s guess.

On what – well I guess I’ve reached the stage where I just want to talk about anything I damn well please.

Imran’s doing better today – the cough’s still there, he’s still slightly feverish, but he’ll be OK. He’s a strong kid.

One benefit of babysitting is I finally get to watch them shows I’ve been downloading but never have time to watch. Ok then, time for a minireview session:

KNOWING

Sure, most people (including The Wife) can’t stand Nic Cage’s puppy dog eyes and sappy-action hero chops. Me, I don’t care much. A flick that comes from Alex Proyas (Dark City) always piques the mind. It’s unfortunate that Knowing stars off promising, but a plodding 2nd act and an unbelievably allegory-heavy (think Narnia!) 3rd act leave me with a sour taste in my mouth. The effects are top notch – sure. But come on, am I the only one getting the Left Behind/Rapture references here?

The internet doesn’t think so.

SUKIYAKI SAMURAI DJANGO

What can I say? Quentin Tarantino stars in a Takashi Miike homage to spaghetti western theater, where EVERY JAPANESE actor speaks in English? Frickin’ Awesome, is what that is. There’s enough reference to Genji and the War Of The Roses for those analytical types, but for Miike fans everywhere, give it  a go.

LIE TO ME (TV)

Only British actors can pull off maladjusted, cynical, scientific antiheroes these days, and Tim Roth hams it up beautifully. I now can appreciate those little chin-thrusts and shoulder-shrugs much better. Couldn’t be arsed to wait for NTV7′s slots, so downloaded it anyway. Excellent beginning, and should be enough to tide me over till Mentalist kicks in again next season.

Ok. Enough yammering. Back to work.

Just when I’d resigned myself to my station in life and not wanting anything more (well, anything that can result in me owing MORE money to the banks than I already do) then I had to go spend some time on the internets and get poisoned.

And what a hillbilly-ey poison it is. So obviously that leads me to places like these where the poisoning gets more intense.

Thanks to nifty, sobering tools like this Affordability Calculator however, I have recognised the error of my ways. There’s just no way I can afford it right now – and probably for the next several years.

Oh well. In the meantime it’s time to enjoy the good free stuff; like hugs, baby laughter, and Ubuntu Hardy Heron.